GLEE!

Matthew Morrison and Neil Patrick Harris make an awesome team on Glee... XD

Too bad it was only a guest star appearance..

I WANT MORE NEIL PATRICK HARRIS!!!

*fangirlscream*

I want...

I want a new watch.

I want a room to myself.

I want a new laptop.

I want more Ipoh taufu fah~

I wanna taste that awesome Malacca roti john again~~

I want nothing but the best green tea latte from Starbucks~~~

I wanna watch Toy Story 3!

I wanna not go to work tomorrow!

I wanna stay home and just laze my day away...

I just wanna spend more time with my friends...

I just want my Grandma to recover her full health again...

I just want to see the people I love being happy...

I want you back here, right next to me again,

I want you around, so I don't have to go to bed missing you so,

I want you home, so I won't have to be so alone anymore...

More than anything,

I need to see your smile;

I need to hear your voice;

I need you...

I want, I want, I want...

Just so selfish, aren't I?

Lonely~

I'm home alone tonight...

I've always relished being able to spend time alone with myself when I was home alone in the past...

It doesn't seem so anymore. If more than anything, I feel even lonelier now...

:(

Sings: Lonely~ I'm so lonely~ I have nobody~ All on my own~

Instinct?

Oh no...

It's that uneasy feeling again...

*shivers*

Daddy's day!

To all fathers, grandfathers and soon-to-be fathers out there:

"Happy Father's Day!"

And to my first-most favourite man on earth:

"I love you, Daddy! :D"

Daddy's new tie!

T-rex! Rawr! Hahaha...

Crazy things you do in life?

I think of the weirdest thoughts in the most funniest of situations...

Take last night, I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth, looking myself in the mirror and telling myself over and over again, "I want whiter teeth, I want whiter teeth..." When suddenly, I recalled one incident, during a walk back from our dinner on my last vacation in Melbourne, where a friend (yes, my dear Sue-Anne) was telling me about one of the ice-breaker sessions she had. Introducing themselves, they each had to relate the most daring thing that they've done in their lives. And for her, she said that hers was bungee jumping, done the last time she was in New Zealand.

That got me thinking: "What WAS the most daring thing that I've ever done in my life?" And well, try as I might, I just couldn't think of anything! And gosh, wouldn't it have been so embarassing if I was at an ice-breaker session, and having the same question posed to me, all I would be able to answer was a measely...

"Uhh, most daring thing? Uhh... climbing over the school walls in a baju kurung just to play hookey? Or uhh... sneaking into an 18-rated movie when I was only 15?"

My goodness, that would have sounded so lame. Lol.

I mean come on, I see people around me achieving and attempting the most daring or challenging feats ever to exist in life. I have friends who have done bungee jumping; I have friends who have scaled Mount Kinabalu and are attempting it again next year; I know people who have done street racing in a proton saga; I know of someone who managed to drive home safe even though she was feeling horribly drunk and awful from it; I even know of someone who has cycled almost 30km to and fro from work just to train for an upcoming triathlon...

And here I am, at 22, supposedly being at the peak of my youth (although I don't feel at my peak at all, taekwondo seems to be proving otherwise and I heartily agree with my tightening muscles...) and having achieved nothing much of a daring feat save climbing over a wall in a baju kurung. Lol. And hey, it's not like I haven't been given any chances, didn't I just come back from New Zealand, and yet, fail to try out bungee jumping?

My goal in life has always been to live it to the fullest. But *sigh*, sometimes I wonder if I will really be going anywhere. I don't deny that I've been given opportunities and chances to try the things I've wanted to try, but when I look back at it, I wonder if I really did make the best out of it.

I am 22 (actually I haven't even turned 22 yet), have a lifetime ahead of me, but yet, here I am, stuck at making a further decision with what I want to do in life. Growing up in a very much typical Asian family, I am left wondering and worrying if the decisions I make now would be a let down of the expectations people have of me. And with this, it pretty much puts me down when I think about what I really want to do in life, what I really want to do when I still can do it.

What happened to "living life to the fullest"?

I don't know...

What if God decides to take me much sooner than I expect? I don't want to leave life here on earth having achieved nothing better but climbing over walls in a baju kurung!

I want to do something crazy. I want to achieve something in my life that spells out: "This girl is one heck of a girl" when people hear about it. But I wonder if I ever will.

Ah nuts, the things I think about when I'm in the bathroom...

Lol...

Clean up? :p

"Quick! Sweep that dirt under the carpet!!! Hurry hurry hurry!!!"

My mum has been asking for my blog link recently.

First, through my brother, and the other day, directly through me.

I have yet to give it to her. Hahah...

Might need to sweep some dirt under the carpet first before I can :p

Hehehhe...

Just kidding~

Mum, if you see this.. Just letting you know I have nothing to hide XD

(Hoho.. that is, if you believe your sweet, innocent, little girl :D)

Run Yong-yong! Run!

I'm pooped.... =.=

Call me crazy or plain stupid, but I signed up for the SJ10km run with my friends. (And FYI, we don't run for a living, nor do we run very often, save the occasional 3 round jog around the track in Taman Ria Subang, and which, for me, usually consists of 2 rounds of running and the rest just walking...)

So there ya go~

And now, I'm back home... tired and dehydrated, but yet, strangely, feeling satisfied, and somewhat much more content with life than I have been (er-hem *coughpreviousposttooemocough*) in a long-long time.

I guess this time, it took a 10km run for God to knock some sense back into my head again...

Ah, the wonders You work.. lol...

Running the race and seeing the type of people running it too somehow made me realise that even though we humans can be so weak at times, to temptations, sin and what not, God also gave us the ability to fight, for survival, for the things you believe in, and more importantly, for the people you love as well...

Let me just recollect some of the amazing things I saw today:

1. A lady in a wheelchair.

We were going uphill at one point, and even though she did comment that it was tiring, she still continued wheeling her chair up without stopping or going any slower than the pace she was wheeling at. "Naik bukit, memang susah sikit..." That was what she said.. but yet, she never stopped, not asked her companion who was running beside her for help.

Oh, this is even more amazing...

2. A PREGNANT lady running

I was 100% shocked to see her in the race. And my goodness, she was even doing the whole race (10km). I wasn't the only one amazed to see her running.. Making light conversation on the run, one of the guys asked her, "Eh, you boleh lari ker?"

And she replied, "Boleh, take it slow no problem punye..."

He asked again, pointing at her bump, "Sudah berapa bulan?"

She said, "Mungkin hari ini due woo... Sudah 38 minggu... if today due good la... haha"

The guy's eyes were literally bulging when he heard that answer...

At that point, I ran past her, turned back and smiled at her, at which, she smiled back...

I'm not entirely sure if it's advisable for a pregnant woman, 38 weeks into her pregnancy, to run a 10km run... and I'm quite baffled her husband actually let her... but oh well, some people.. it's just amazing la..

(Heh, I doubt my future husband would even let me walk 1km being 38 weeks pregnant.. hahahah)

So well, there. I don't know if I made it sound inspiring enough or anything, but well, running this race, did do something for me. And for that, I'm glad.

And to top it off, I finished the race in approximately, 1hr 30 mins! *applause please* (Syok Sendiri lol)

Hahah.. no big deal la.. but it's somewhat an achievement for me, since well, I ran 10km!! (Ok, didn't run all the way.. but still :D) and, I'm not a long distance runner.. I have always been a sprinter. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna let it stop there.

Next year, 10km again? Perhaps :)

Me being me, who forgot to bring along my watch, ended up carrying my phone for the run instead (just to keep time). And well, good thing it comes with a camera, as horrible as the quality of the shots are.. haha

3 km at this point, in half an hour. Found it difficult to push on after I stopped running.

On the U-turn back to MPSJ. So near, yet so far...

9km checkpoint. Almost there!

And finally, the finish line! Whee~~~

Oh, and I have to say... I didn't have any luck getting drinks throughout the race (just goes to prove how slow I was).. and the worst thing? Getting back to MPSJ, getting to the 100 plus counter, and when it was my turn next... "Oh, sorry, 100 plus sudah habis."

Like.. wtf... lol... Ah well~

I hate myself.

I hate myself for that mask I've had on since God knows when, that mask I put on every morning when I wake up.

I hate myself for that fake smile on my face that I show to everyone wherever I go.

I hate myself for telling people that "I'm OK", even when I'm not.

I hate myself for lying, and I hate myself even more when I do it just so I don't worry anyone else.

I hate the emo, obsessive bitch that I've turned into.

I hate that emptiness I feel inside me, the one where no amount of tears seem to be able to fill it up.

I hate myself for being selfish.

I hate myself for apologising for being selfish.

I just.. hate myself.

And there's nothing more I want to do than to just go curl up into a ball and cry my mind away.

If sleep takes me, and I never wake, I think I'd be happier there than where I am now.